The S.A.B.E.R.

In the event of total nuclear fallout, the friendly world you knew will be a thing of the past. You may encounter fierce competition for precious resources, so what will you do if mutated marauders want to lighten your load?

Never fear, because with a trusty S.A.B.E.R. by your side, you can face the dubious denizens of the wasteland and still get home in time for a slice of perfectly preserved pie. No need to sweat over bulletproof bullies and corrupted crustaceans – you can focus on the important things in life, like rebuilding democracy or helping another settlement.

Each standard-issue S.A.B.E.R. was assembled using Vektra-type hilts, which were chosen by our weaponologists for its signature light ring to maximize beam visibility. For this hilt’s design, we had our brightest whip up something that can stand out in the wasteland while you stand up for the future of our great nation. Starting at the switch band, we placed that impenetrable symbol of sanctuary on one side and an emblem of ambition on the other. We then wrapped the grip and Covertec band with a touch of inspirational clarity, which will serve to constantly remind the wielder to speak softly and carry a concentrated plasma beam.

But wait, there’s more! Our team of colorologists pulled out all the stops by enhancing this hilt with a powder coating of patriotic blue, paired with accents of rich gold and deep bronze. And the accessories are the cherry on top, with a gold activation switch, black Covertec wheel, and a bronze ‘OLED-Boy’ that can play an exclusive custom animation, resulting in a hilt that looks just as stylish as your jumpsuit.

So whether you’re finding family or delivering a chip, you’ll be a match for anything that comes your way with a S.A.B.E.R. on your hip. Because when words just don’t cut it, you’ll be glad you reserved some carrying weight for the “Social Agreement Beam and Emergency Reconciler” also known as the S.A.B.E.R.. Ask your supervisor about the prerequisite application forms, or order your own tomorrow, June 22nd, at 9am EDT.